oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
