There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
