Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
