We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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