you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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