real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
