I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
