yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
