She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
