too bad you live with your parents still
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
