I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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