And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
