He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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