Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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