so that wasnt chicken after all
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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