he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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