So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
