I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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