I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
