Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
