His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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