Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
