I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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