Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you would pick up someone in the library
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
