You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
