It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have aggressive nipples.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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