Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Randomize
