my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I know her cup size but not her name....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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