addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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