In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
this hospital has no fireball
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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