What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
