I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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