I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
