Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
