peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
