At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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