Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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