Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
