You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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