Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I need moral support for this bender
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
