Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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