Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize