no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
