yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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