Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
