he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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