Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
