I just made out with a guy for $7.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
