singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
