i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
