I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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