The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
